The Power of Sacred Speech

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“Who is the person who truly desires life, loving each day, seeking out the good? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from deceitful speech. Turn away from evil and do good. Seek peace and pursue it.” (Psalms 34:13-15) 

The classical commentators wonder why this verse suggests that the mitzvah of engaging in mindful speech is central to a life of fullness, love and goodness. So too, the Torah’s key verse on ethical speech is found in this week’s parashah: “Do not go about spreading gossip among your people” (Leviticus 19:16), which comes shortly before the central verse, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Leviticus 19:18)

Some say that both the prohibition on gossip and the practice of ethical speech reflect the reality that communication is essential to what it means to be human. As far as we know, humans are the only beings that use language to communicate. Verbal communication is foundational to how we connect with others and who we are in the world. Thus, we must use this gift well.

Others say that mindful speech is essential to the practice of all the mitzvot. They reason that anyone who is careful to speak words about other people only if they are true, kind and necessary (a very high bar!) will surely be conscientious about their deeds and the whole range of their spiritual practice.

And yet others say that mindful speech promotes peace among people, whereas hurtful speech produces conflict and enmity among people, and hence violates the command in the Psalms to seek peace and pursue it.

As is well known, the rabbis of the Talmud say, “One who embarrasses another in public is like a murderer.” (By this definition, think about how much murder is committed every hour of the day on social media — and how often we participate in it.)

Perhaps more surprising is the teaching on the sin of argumentativeness. Yes, you read that right. Surely, there are countless Jewish texts that extol the practice of “machloket l’shem shamayim,” argument for the sake of heaven — a righteous way to explore ideas, generate more Torah and increase understanding of multiple perspectives.

By contrast, some texts speak pejoratively about the “ba’al machloket,” (the master of argument), who may be a person addicted to poking holes in anything that others say in a derisive and gratuitous way. In so doing, say the sources, such people may generate senseless hatred, gossip, anger, deception, shaming, vengeance, grudge-bearing and mockery.

Finally, one Mussar master (in “Orchot Tzadikim,” or “Ways of the Righteous,” written in 15th century Germany) suggested that there are five categories of speech: 1) mitzvah speech, which is required, as in prayer and Torah study; 2) “beloved” speech; 3) permissible speech, which is necessary but meaningless speech about the mundane needs of life; 4) petty speech, or chatter about people and events; and 5) speech that is to be shunned, such as lies, slander and indecent speech.

These categories suggest what may be an impossibly high standard of purifying our use of language. We might not want to give up the simple pleasures of chatting with friends and those with whom we do business in the course of a day. These kinds of communications are necessary for relationships. Still, it would be a fascinating and fruitful exercise to somehow record everything we said (or wrote) during a day to see how much of our language belonged to each of these categories. I fear I might be unpleasantly surprised.

I am particularly intrigued by the category of “beloved speech.” In our lives, this could include words of love, kindness and compassion, words used to convey our desire to help and support others, and words of gratitude and appreciation. Ask yourself: How much of your day do you spend engaging in this kind of speech? How much beloved speech do you consume, as opposed to speech that is petty, disdainful, argumentative or downright hateful? How do you feel when you find yourself in a space (online or in person) that prioritizes gentle, loving language?

In a time in which harsh, coarse and contemptuous speech is everywhere, we can engage in a true act of resistance by committing to use and consume language in gentle and loving ways as often as possible.

A Biblical verse states that “death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21) This is perhaps hyperbolic, but our use of language has tremendous impact on our own lives and the life of our community and our nation. May more of us use our gift of speech for the good.

(This column first appeared in the J Weekly, https://jweekly.com/2025/05/08/in-a-time-of-coarse-speech-using-your-words-for-good-is-an-act-of-resistance/)